Small things matter. Saying “thank you” consists of two small words, however, the impact of those words can be huge. Moreover, thanking someone doesn’t cost you anything and still hearing of such words can be priceless to another person. Also, those two small words can create such positive feelings in another person that he or she starts reflecting more positive feelings and behaviour back to you. Or, when you next time need help from this person, you are more likely to get help as you had “credited the person’s positive emotions account”. Surely, you can thank and give credits by many other words and express the same by your own behaviour. What is more important than the exact words is that you say it from your heart. The more you really mean it the more likely the other person is to value “the credits” you’re providing.
The other side of the coin is accepting thanks and other positive comments. Sounds quite funny – don’t we all want to hear compliments? Well, many times when hearing words of thanks we just respond “your welcome “, “no problem” or “that’s nothing” and we may not even seem to register such positive words in our own mind. Moreover, sometimes as an after-thought we may notice them later (“that was nicely said from him/her”). Or, in the worst case, we may react with the opposite emotions: when hearing someone thanking or giving compliments we may even start sensing negative feelings and thus, not being able to truly accept such credits to ourselves. It may be hard to distinguish if a negative feeling was due a person who said a compliment or the way it was said or a context or timing, or maybe there was even another underlying feeling or belief connected to such compliment turning it into a negative emotion. What seems to be then even harder to many of us is to give credits to ourselves. It’s much easier to think “I could have done better” or “I should have still achieved more” than say to yourself “I did well and I’m happy with myself“. Learning to give consciously credits to yourself pays off equally like thanking someone else – unconsciously your own mind will post these credits on the positive emotions account and you feel better about yourself whatever is the area of crediting in question.
Do you truly accept words of thanks and other compliments to yourself? Do you now and then give credits to yourself too? Are there some underlying beliefs preventing you to accept such credits and which beliefs you could let go now?