Two-way Street of Trust

Last two weeks the theme of “trust” seemed to pop into my life in different forms. Moreover, I recently caught myself feeling that I was not trusted enough. At the same time I clearly knew this was not the case but the emotion of being “mistrusted” was only my own feeling I experienced in a particular situation. Interesting, I thought, this offers me a great opportunity to learn something new about my beliefs. A further reflection revealed there were other emotions linked to the emotion of “mistrust” so I started to dig deeper on what trust is about.

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A Matter of Heart

What matters the most to you? Do you focus on those things you really enjoy and want to achieve in your life? It’s easy to throw such questions on the table, however, may not be as straightforward to provide your answers. How do you know what is truly important to you and not something you just think is important to you?

Imagine a child telling you something he or she is really excited about. The child’s eyes are sparkling and full of joy. Well, we adults show the same “sparkling eyes effect” when we are experiencing a true excitement. Someone told me then your heart is speaking and the emotions that are reflected in your eyes are deeper than thoughts coming only through your conscious mind. Thus, you are not only thinking, you are deeply feeling the joy and importance of a matter in question.

Now in the beginning of the year many of us reflect how to use our time this year and what promises to make towards ourselves. Instead of just making a promise, this year I took a different approach and first stopped to consider what I really “feel doing this year”. Thus, rather than focusing on what I should do (e.g. practice more sports) I selected a few things I really desire in my life right now (in fact, enjoying of the energized feeling after sports exercises is one of those). Thus, mentally I switched from “I should do” to “I choose to do” approach. I bet this will help with any procrastination thoughts (“I will do it tomorrow”) as I now have a positive emotion “I have chosen” associated with my decision.

So, after you know what you really want to achieve in your life and you have a positive starting point, how to eventually get there? It often feels that there are still multiple things coming on the way without forgetting unforeseen changes. As time is limited the key is in the continuous focusing and prioritisation of your actions. Select three most important things you want to achieve this year and ensure you have related three steps taken each month, week and day. Those three steps may be somewhat different than you originally thought depending on a day or week, but before you noticed you are already many steps closer to your goal. Some excellent practical advices on such systematic “everyday prioritisation” you can find in Getting the Results the Agile Way” written by J.D.Meier.

When making promises to yourself this year, is there among such promises something that makes your eyes sparkling and full of joy? Are you focusing now on something that is really a matter of heart to yourself?

Change offers opportunities

Change is a phenomenon no one can avoid. Whether we talk about societies, communities, businesses, families or individual persons at any age groups, we all face small and bigger changes somewhere at some point of time. Or, you could say that the only thing remaining constant nowadays is the change itself – we know changes are taking place all the time.

So, how do you deal with a change then? Of course, it depends on the starting point. Did you expect or even wish a change happened or did it come unexpectedly? Was the nature of change from your perspective more positive or negative? The starting point impacts on how you position yourself mentally in the beginning of the change. While it can be hard to “think positively” especially in case big dramatic changes, the way you deal with the next steps of your change process is critical. Being aware of such mental positioning and associated emotions offers you an opportunity: while you cannot control everything in your changing environment, you have a power to choose how you think and act yourself which in turn has a major impact on how you go through the change in question.
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