“Sorry, could you repeat, what did you say…?” Hmm. How annoying it is to repeat what you said when knowing a person to whom you talked to just wasn’t paying attention on what you were saying. Or, when you’re trying to get your message through, the other person just constantly misses the point you’re trying to make. In the worst case, the situation leads into an argument in which the two persons simply do not understand each other and if you were a fly on the wall, you might like to give an advice “hey guys just listen first and talk then”.
There are 3 simple steps to become a better listener. Firstly, stop your own hurry and thinking of what next and what message you’re going to bring into a discussion. Secondly, listen what the other person is trying to say. I mean, do not listen only the words but actually the meaning behind those words. You can mentally step into the shoes of the other person to really understand the point. Thirdly, confirm with the other person if you understood the message right.
What has listening to do with personal energy? My observation is that sincere listening of another person’s message is truly rewarding and creates positive energy. Paying attention on what another person is saying means showing respect and interest of which we all feel positive about and this in fact makes the whole conversation much more fruitful. Whereas, in the opposite case, when we are not listening well enough, the outcome often is negative energy, e.g. tension in discussions or even creating an unnecessary argument caused by the frustration born on a person who’s sending a message as well as the one who’s receiving the message. When someone is not listening it signals there is a lack of interest or caring and unconsciously it can feel personal as well, thus leading into more negative feelings. By showing you’re listening carefully you can demonstrate genuine willingness to understand the other person which further helps in creating trust and building a better relationship.
How about listening to your own inner talk? Do you stop and pay attention on what your own mind is trying to point out? It’s equally rewarding to show to yourself you’re listening and might be surprised on how positively your own mind and body respond when getting your full attention for a moment.